So this week has been filled with pretty big realizations. I have thought about most of them before but they are really starting to become clear. The biggest idea that I am trying to imagine and fathom is the idea that this chapter that I am about to write in my life (quite a cliche…I know) has the potential to completely change the direction that I have been going. Typing that kind of opens a new question. What direction was I / am I going in? Right now, I am on the typical “four year track to graduate college.” But what happens after that? What will be my next destination? My next goal? From what I have heard and seen, a kind of wandering exploration for the our futures is a very common thing to do. Who honestly has their life planned? Who honestly knows what they’re going to be doing next? Does it even matter if we make these plans?
Proverbs 19:21 – “Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.”
These words need to be taken to heart. I guess what I’m trying to say is that while I try to plan all this stuff about my adventures and dreams, I have to keep reminding myself that there is a Greater One writing my story. That is a very humbling and chilling truth. Nothing comforts me and scares me more than knowing that it is always God who is conducting this. Not I. But He. Since I know that, why do I care if I have a “life plan”? Hmm……I’ll take that one to the road.
There is still so much more I could say about this topic but I’m going to move onto the next one: comfort.
Comfort is something that we are taught to find as we grow up. As we get older we are searching for our niche and constantly trying to find a place to “fit-in”. Well, I can say that I don’t think I will ever find that. I’m not saying that for you to be like “oh, poor her” or for you to think that I’m fishing for sympathy. I’m saying that because I don’t know if I want to. Once again, I don’t want you to think I’m trying to “go against the flow” or be too hipster (you can laugh at that one). I am not saying that there is anything wrong with finding your place in the world, or getting into your groove…just be careful. Sometimes when we get too wrapped up in the day to day schedules of our comfortable lives, we miss out on our greater callings.
This sense of comfortability is what I am hoping to escape in my travels. I want to get away from the dependency of a schedule, the dependency of a watch, the dependency of anything. I want to get into the “groove” of spontaneity. I wonder if I’ll find it in Africa. If I don’t find it there, I’m going to find it somewhere else. So…comfort…not my thing.
There were a few more things I wanted to explain but I think this is enough for now, maybe I’ll write a few more tomorrow. PS, sorry for all the “quotation marks.” I like them.
Ta-Ta for now,